Hello my dearest dreamers,Just a quick pulse check from the writer's cave: I’m deep in the trenches of editing DEAD AIR.I know I’ve been quiet lately, but that silence is full of pages, rewrites, and whispered sentences. Or maybe they’re just haunting me at this point.Thank you for sticking around while I wrestle this beast into something beautiful for you to read. I’ll be back soon with new work; more poems, more short stories, and maybe even a few surprises.Until then, keep your minds bright and your bedrooms dark. 😉

I'm ripping at the seams.UndoingTrying to unfit a shape More kindly treatedMore palatable to behold The wolves are at the gate SnarlingReady to tear awayThe layer of veneerThat served only others Let me out Taught to obeyGirlsAre to be seenNever heardSmile, sit down, just pretend The wolves are comingCirclingSaliva dripping from teethReady to destroyWhat never was mine Let me out Don't let me suffer Silently In darkness for decades In a mind that didn't understandThe struggle imposed The wolves are hereNippingBreath warms my neckI am being judgedThe weight of my soul Let me out My only crimeOthered Never fitting in this worldA creature too bright To be fully held The wolves are at my throat TearingBroken flesh now bleeding Maybe now there's restIn the end Let me outLet me outLet me go.

"Run, girl. Run!"

As if I didn’t have enough on my plate already (joking... sort of), I’m also currently translating my first published poetry collection, Fragmented Echoes, into my native tongue: Frisian. This doesn't affect any future projects; those will still be fully in English. This is just an addition to my growing body of work. And I want to honour my own identity, what better way to do that than actually use the language I was born into?

Hi everyone,

When I published Fragmented Echoes, I knew there would be choices to make. Different paper types, margins, ISBNs. But I didn’t expect the biggest challenge would be simply making the book available in other countries where a good portion of my readers live.

When I released Fragmented Echoes, I set the paperback price at €15.99.I understand that to some, that might seem steep for a poetry collection. Maybe you’ve seen books go for €9.99 or less and wondered, why is this one more expensive?So let me try to explain, because the truth is, we as authors don’t pocket what you pay. In fact, we often get the smallest slice of the pie. Especially as an indie author.This isn’t a complaint. It’s a reality check. A bit of transparency in a world that rarely gets lit up from the inside. And it matters, especially if you believe in supporting independent creators.So, what happens when you buy my book through a retailer? I publish through IngramSpark, which distributes my books to platforms like Amazon, Bol.com, Waterstones, and Barnes & Noble. That gives me global reach, but at a cost.Here’s what happens when you buy my book online:Retail price: €15.99Retailer’s cut (40–55%): ~€7.99Printing cost (based on size, paper, page count): ~€4.30What I actually earn: ~€3.70 per bookAnd that’s before taxes, currency conversion fees, or anything else behind the scenes.If I dropped the price to €9.99, my cut would drop to less than €0.50. Not because I’m greedy. Because the system is built that way. Every copy is printed on demand, no warehouse, no bulk discounts, no shortcuts.It’s easy to compare indie books to the €6.99 bestsellers stacked in bookstores. But those books are mass-produced. Their publishers print thousands at a time, slashing production costs. They negotiate distribution deals we, as individuals, don’t have access to. Their losses are calculated and absorbed.Indie authors? We are the publisher. We pay full price for every step. There’s no corporate buffer. No safety net.When you buy from an indie, you’re not buying mass-market. You’re buying small-batch, made-with-care, often handcrafted selfmade work. It costs more to make, and honestly, it should.Here’s something else most readers don’t know: in the Netherlands, ISBNs aren’t free. They’re not even cheap.To publish professionally, I had to purchase my own ISBNs. A block of 10 cost me ~€360. Each book format (paperback, ebook, etc.) needs its own ISBN. That alone adds ~€36 per version of each book.That’s before:- Cover design (which I do myself, but it still takes time and skill).- Interior formatting and layout.- Proof copies.- Distribution setup (which didn't cost me anything upfront but each subsequent change after a book has been published for a while does incur a fee)- Marketing (if I can afford it)Before I’ve even sold a single copy, I’ve spent hundreds of euros just to make the book real.Why I chose €15.99. In short, because it’s the price that lets me keep going.It allows me to:- Earn a small but fair royalty- Cover the costs of professional self-publishing- Respect the value of my work- Keep creating without burning outI didn’t price it to make a fortune. I priced it to reflect the truth: this book took years of lived experience, energy, and care. Every poem in Fragmented Echoes is mine. Every design choice, every publishing step, I did it. That’s what the price includes.Now you might be wondering why I don't sell from your own stock. Ordering my own book to sell directly should be cheaper, right?Nope.When I order author copies from IngramSpark, I pay the print cost plus international shipping. And living in the Netherlands means:- Import taxes, because even though Ingram has a printer in Germany, I can't choose that option, so I'm stuck ordering from the UK or even the USA.- Customs handling fees- Delivery feesAnd that’s just to get the books to me. If I ship them to you, especially outside the Netherlands, postage becomes brutal.International shipping often costs more than the book itself. Which is a whole other mess.And here’s the kicker: in most cases, I would actually go in the red when I sell the books myself. That’s right, between shipping, import costs, and conversion losses, I lose money sending my own book out.So while I would love to offer signed copies and personal touches, the system is stacked against indie authors trying to sell across borders.What about the prices you see as a customer? Short answer, out of my control.You might’ve noticed the price of my book changes depending on where you shop. Sometimes it’s less than €15.99. Sometimes more. That’s not me.Retailers discount my book without telling me or inflate the price in regions with higher tax or shipping fees. Either way, my royalty stays the same. I don’t earn more if they charge you more. I don’t earn less if they undercut me. But you might end up paying a price I never agreed to. So please, please, please, do your due diligence, don't pay absurdly high prices. The only prices I can fully control are the prices on my website and (possibly) Patreon. If you want more of your money to go to the person who actually made the book, here’s how to help:- Buy the ebook version through my website (mine is launching soon), I keep a bigger percentage.- Support me on Patreon, you get early access, behind-the-scenes content, and I get paid somewhat fairly.- Buy from local bookstores if they stock my work.- Leave a review. It’s free, powerful, and helps others find my bookI know €15.99 isn’t pocket change. And I know not everyone can afford to support every indie they admire.But if you do choose to buy my copy, you’re not just buying a product. You’re holding something I built from the ground up. You’re supporting an artist trying to make it work without cutting corners. You’re helping me keep going.So thank you. For reading. For supporting. For valuing stories that don’t come from a marketing team, but from a real person, one page at a time.

Pain sucks. It sticks and stays in ways we don’t always expect. Showing up in quiet moments like sledgehammer. Hidden behind the things we don’t say. And lurking in memories that hit out of nowhere, that break our hearts anew. And sometimes, there’s no getting rid of it. No easy fix, no resolution. But writing, especially poetry, gives it a place to go. At least for me.

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